You Thought She Was Your Salvation

She touched your hand  And your anger faded away She hugged you  And you melted  But like the sun on a nightwalkers skin  Ashes to ashes  You died from within You felt her like the sun A warmth you hadn’t felt in years  She embodied hope  But she also embodied all your fears  A chain…

This Fickle Heart Of Mine

The first thing that came to mind  When reading the word VAULT Is the inner workings of my heart  Code to crack  Difficult to get in Thick walls  But nearly indestructible  My vault of a heart  Holds all my deepest secrets  All my memories  All my pain  Sometimes it’s  Stronger than it’s own good  Barring…

Isn’t It Curious

The universe tends to work in very mysterious ways  Breadcrumbs  nudges  Whispers  To the right direction  Sometimes it is the direction we desire  Sometimes it’s in the direction that breaks your heart  But it is very curious  The way that the universe tends to work  When we ask it For answers  #Fandango’s One Word Challenge…

The Thorns On My Salvation

They walk past me with mournful eyes Shaking their heads in disappointment “Why do you hold on so tight?  The thorns piercing your skin?  Your blood dripping so bright?” They do not understand There is no need to die  Giving them my last breath  As I lay him down Tuck him in  And shower him…

Meanwhile

Every morning the sun would rise  Every morning  That sun rose with pride  Boasting in his brightness  Full and larger than life  He thought to himself  “Every night, they are saddened with darkness,  Every morning, they need me to light their way,  I am what they wait for as their head touches their pillow, My…

A Flowered Crown Upon My Head

Walking along the stoney path Fingers grazing the brick bridge wall  I hear her humming  The most feminine tune  And I wonder what beauty I might befall  I peer across O’ I am so lucky to see  And angel prancing along the meadow  But then she stops to look at me  The heat within me…

Little Did He Know

He said to me  “You are being explosive ”  Little did he know,  There was a tornado inside me that I was holding back from  being released. He said to me “You are teetering on the edge” Little did he know, I tip-toed the tight-walk for miles before I got here He doesn’t know I…

My Hands Are Your Hands

My hands are your  hands  In the daintiness that they lay  In the chubbiness that our fingers sit  In the thickness that our nails grow Your hands are my hands  In the way that you snap your fingers as you dance And flip your long hair  And twirl your rings My hands are your hands …

When The Anxiety Hits Me

“We can comprehend your hurt, but we can also be your rock, because we have already faced a million thunderstorms within us and we know how to stand strong. “

My Heart Hurts From All the Things I Can’t Do With You Mother

Dear Mother,  There are so many things that I still wanted to do with you.  We always talked about more dances together.  We have gone out dancing together twice in our lives.  I thought we had so many more late nights left to go.  We joked about loving dancing so much, we would go out,…

Self Love is Where Mirrors Do Not Exist

The funny thing, or not so funny thing,  about our perception of beauty towards others and towards ourselves, is that they are on completely different scales.  I run around all day seeing the beauty in other women.  I hear their insecurities, but think how there is no need for the harsh words they tell themselves. …

Angels Show Up in the Most Random Places

After losing my mom, I was flooded with messages from friends and family sending their love and condolences.  I found myself finding solace in talking about what happened.  In random conversation, I would start to talk about my loss, to anyone close enough to listen.  Coworkers in the break room,  friends on social media, any…

I Love That…

I love that I think of you In the moments that I am the most myself In the moments that I am the most bare In the moments that I am just me You pop into my mind I love that I think of you In the moments that I am so passionate When I…

12 Month Challenge

“… it’s that loving yourself is the first thing that you need to accomplish before you could even dream of being happy. You need to love yourself to be the best version of you for the people you care about…”

Sometimes

Sometimes

I look out into the city

And I feel so immensely small

Underneath the Billowing Sea

Sitting upon the dock one day I stared out into the ocean Deep blue waters Swelling with each wave And appeared such a notion The fear of what is down there Underneath the billowing sea The fear of what is buried, deep inside of me What creatures linger ? What monsters hide ? As I…

Where is this place I want to see ?

Odd that it seems like a place of perfection  Empty valley  Like a cave within the ground  High walls made of grass  Sun touching every surface  Except the one place right in the middle  One tree  Providing much needed protection from the light I want to lay there  I want to lay there all day…

Finally!!! We Win!!!

” …there will finally be that moment where you triumph over the hardships……”

The Battle of Feeling Beautiful Enough For a Picture

I still battle every picture to feel beautiful. I still feel insecure without make up. I still like a filter or two. But, at least it is still me.

Not a dog

Not a unicorn

Not some mystical mermaid

One day I will beat this battle to feel BEAUTIFUL enough for a picture.

I will be Bare faced and beautiful

I will be flaws and all beautiful

I will amazon warrior this battle to feel beautiful

And I will be proud of it.

She Said Your Name Yesterday

She said your name yesterday I had forgotten about the good days Four years had already passed I didn’t think of us much Memories were filtered by my teeth As I vented back then about the days my heart broke The disgusting taste that was left on my tongue As I flossed the plaque away…

This Wasn’t Her First Time

This wasn’t her first time She knew what she was doing to herself What she didn’t know was what she was doing to the ones around her She looked back at a text message “I can’t do this anymore” Unrecognizable She asks “Did I write this? When?!” He tells her “Right before” He tried to…

Excuse My Crazy

Originally posted on The Mombie Blog:
“Ugh, there you go crying again.” “I’m tired and I don’t care.” “Leave me alone stop talking to me, I have work in the morning and I don’t wana hear it.” “Your a cry baby, full of drama, everyone says it, everyone talks about it.” “There you go again…

It’s OFFICIAL!

I received this message this morning as I woke up and the feeling of constant dread that I have had since taking my NCLEX suddenly faded away. This journey to my RN has been an extremely long one. Not just the prerequisite classes that I was taking in my early twenties, but from the beginning…

Countdown To The NCLEX

For those of you that don’t know what the NCLEX is, it is a giant test that stands between you and your dream of being a nurse.  It is a test to verify that you have enough knowledge in that pretty little noggin’ of yours to provide safe and quality care to your patients.  It…

My Heart In Pieces

How do I feel whole When my heart is scattered?   Scattered along the paths I’ve walked   Like breadcrumbs to remind me of my journey   I can look behind me And see the pieces of my heart   The pieces that are too far to see I can feel   Like a sonar…

John Doe

He looks at me But he does not see me He sees through me But not to my soul his eyes Dark Black Lost They dart from corner to corner Not sure of where he is Not sure of who he is They pass judgment on you and I am so sorry They tell me…

Do Not Let That Monster Out

I wonder sometimes How you smile throughout the day As you live in your façade Preaching for others to live their life As you flaunt yours But Do not forget that I know What lies beneath your skin I know the creature being held back By your dental veneer jail cell The beautiful smile you…

All Of A Sudden I Hear Your Voice

Flipping through the stationary pictures Smelling the dress you left behind Reading the words you left on paper Collecting the scraps of what is left of you All of a sudden I hear your voice Radiating from the pinpoint speakers of my phone I hear your laughter I hear you giggle Tears streamed from my…

He Is My Full Moon, He shines Bright For Me

“Masochist!” you scream It’s the only definition you could think of For the reason she stays there, Unmoved “Must be some kind of pleasure she gets” You think, “to be teased as she does” You watch her Looking up at the dreams she has built Heart growing with each pump Practically glowing from her chest…

Pit In My Stomach, Where It Seems My Heart Has found a New Home

Those moments reappear at times the most unexpected -Driving -Singing Like being hit by a semi Heart drops Tear drops Pit in my stomach Where it seems my heart Has found a new home She likes to find herself On this trampoline That feeling Flying And the loss of ground while falling Up Down Up…

What I Really Wish, Is To Have You

Finally unpacking my life from April   Going through the nik-naks   Smelling your favorite dress   With no hint of you left on it   Just the aroma of packing boxes   Hint of dust   Filtering among the cherished   And the heartbroken   Pictures that I saw the day we laid you…

She Told Me To Love Myself For Who I Am

“she was my best friend, nobody knew me down to the depths of my soul like she did and no one knew her as much as I did.  If she came to visit me after death, I would know.  If she wanted me to know something, she would find a way to tell me.  If she wanted to be near me, I would feel her.  There is no possible way that her spirit could be near me without me knowing.”

Forgive me

Forgive me LORD I do not think I have truly prayed to you Since the day that you took her home   It is not for lack of love It is not for lack of want It is not for gain of hatred It is not for gain of loss   Maybe I am not…

It was Beautiful when you played it out in my head

Maybe I’ll take a page out of your story mother It was beautiful when you played it out in my head   Green backdrop Sun shining The smell of pine Or maybe forest The smell of bark Aroma of nature Because you were a wild woman That wanted to be set free   Surrounded by…

Life will not stop for a life lost

In one phone call, my world came colliding down “she will miss you” – he said As a crackle in his voice slipped through the telephone waves Thousands of miles away That heartbreak only took a millisecond to deliver Even at that moment I felt emptiness Yet disbelief There is no way that the fire…

The sight that my eyes behold

A picture Does not give justice To what the eyes can see The sparkles of the life below The blackness of the sea Each lantern A life that I could never know The sun set sky Vast in darkness Allowing the life of night Glow I want to capture this beauty Show you Somehow explain…

He makes me feel beautiful

Its funny the way he treats me like treasure   As if he is blown away that I am even in his possession   As if Someone might try and steal me away at any moment   As if I may be made of gold   He jokes As if I fight away wolves on…

Birthday Cake

I know it was just an Ice cream cake   But it really was so much more   It was the evisceration of all the sadness Spanning two failed relationships sitting within my gut   It was the eradication of ten years worth of broken promises   It was the first heartbeat that knew that…

somewhere deep inside of me

Somewhere deep inside of me There is a glimmer of hope A spark of life An anchor Keeping me grounded Just to you   Somewhere deep inside of me Under years of confusion Beneath the rubble of many long fought wars Buried within the ashes of the reborn phoenix As it bursts into flames and…

Goodbye : In One Word, a Whole Life is Erased

in a state of limbo during a time when I experienced the most change picking up my entire life for a new one Molding me into a robot working toward growth and improvement yet stagnant in life not wanting to let go because letting go means goodbye Because in one word, a whole life is…

What is it that haunts you, boy?

What is it that haunts you, boy ? The acid that you spit from between your teeth The venom you conjure within your bowels Created by the hatred that you boil within Waiting for your top to explode What is it that is paining you, boy? I see between the hateful words that you spew…

Uncompromising

via The Daily Post: Uncompromising You Faceless joker Hooded creature You Core laugher Ice cold hugger You Uncompromising dealer Indian giver I said I want to make you a deal Give her more time You can have mine Do not walk away from me Eyeless sockets Do not look away from my glare You are…

Fact

Fact : daily word prompt You awoken the fire inside of me – FACT   You lifted me higher than I had ever been – FACT   I had never felt more beautiful than when I was in your arms – FACT   And yet   You broke me – FACT   You didn’t just…

Goodbye

I hear the crack in her voice when she calls The happiness to hear me speak And the instant regret that I answered Because she will never see me again   She rushes off to say “I love you” And hangs up the phone   I am already in tears by the time I say…

Puzzled – one word prompt

I watch him As he leaves you Puzzled When together I glare with a little envy The way he caresses your face The way he holds your hand Appearing as though he is the luckiest man in the world Kisses as though he needs you Guides you as though he wants to protect you from…

The chaos calms me

An introvert in all aspects But a fire in my heart I love to sit within the madness Watch in utter calmness All the while A storm brews around me Chaos within all four corners Hectic vibrations And some how It creates a tunnel for me to focus Like the noise forms a bubble in…