Don’t lift me up to drop me 

Originally posted on Never Silence the Madness:
I wrote this poem September 27, 2016 I had found a happiness  but  with the same breath of this poem, and the fear of losing the love, I eventually let my anxiety tear apart what had become amazing. Don’t you lift me up to drop me… Don’t you…

Dating Someone with Anxiety

-A boyfriend’s Advice On a different post, I will dive into details about my journey with anxiety, but right now I feel like this is a post I really want to make.  What I want to say from the start is that, I am also new to anxiety, in the sense that, my awareness of…

I’m sorry that I Hate Her

I’m sorry that I hate her With every vein in my body I hate her Innocent bystander To your wrong doings You hurt me Yet here I stand Unwavering By your side when I see her Innocent bystander My blood boils My fists clench My heart drops to the pit of my stomach And I…

We are all Liars to some Extent

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Words Running through my Fingertips

I’ve always believed that I had words running through my fingertips   like water through a faucet   throughout my life, I’ve filled journal after journal   and the moment that you stepped into my life I became a blank page   one that I could not seem to fill   you rendered me speechless…

Heart full of Tangled Emotions

how do you know you’re in love? with a head full of jumbled up thoughts and a heart stuffed with tangled emotions where does the thinking stop? where do the feelings begin? to feel as though- as though – and there I go…. not even knowing how to finish that sentence not being able to…

Howl in hysterics

I was so engulfed in loving you immersed in the idea of us in the idea of you I began to lose the woman I was the woman I AM tossing my interests aside willing to forgo my passions relinquish my pleasures just to be with you now, where am I? not in the literal…

I dance my way onward

rediscovering what life is like in a world devoid of your presence unearthing the ability to live a life where not every minute every moment of my day is engrossed in thinking about what you need with you missing from my life you would think my days would feel empty I was terrified that the…

Woman Scorned

you may think hell hath no fury like a woman scorned but I tell you it is not the fury you need to be afraid of you may think the hurricane the damage the destruction is what causes your fear your angst your panic but I tell you fear the calm after the storm fear…

Goals for 2018

Facing the end of 2017 means a lot of different things to me.  I started this journey in 2014, moving to Southern California alone almost on a whim when I got accepted into a nursing program.  2014 was a year of changes for me.  It was a year of GIANT decisions.  It was a year…

Hydration at its Finest

Does anyone  else have a weird quirk about their water bottles?  I have always been very picky about my water bottles and I have gone through many, many, many, trials and errors.   This topic may be trivial to most, but I went through a long journey to find a “perfect” water bottle.  In my twenties,…

Tame Me

via Daily Prompt: Tame Tame We knew what we were getting into When we set ourselves on the path Of falling in love The stars sang it to be so They said our skulls would be so thick We wouldn’t hear the mumbles coming from each others lips They said we would fight to be…

The war between what I “believe” to be true

via Daily Prompt: Believe Believe The war between what I believe to be true And what my demons whisper Take my faith on a whirlwind roller coaster I am sorry that I hurt you That I take your love And your care That I take your gentle caress And each inch of effort that you…

Lost Hills

Exit to the lost hills it said   Eerie it sounds Terrifying to most But somehow My first thought was I’d like to go there How scary could the lost hills be When I’m already lost Inside of me When I’ve been running blind for years There’s comfort in those lost hills Where one is…

When you think you see me

When she comes It may be indistinguishable to you You glance at me And I smile back in return Not one dew drop on my skin You imagine to yourself what kind of life I may have You imagine the cupcakes I must eat for dinner You imagine the sugar and spice I must sprinkle…

And her name is …..

You run rampant Like a storytelling tinker bell Fluttering around my ear Beautiful maleficent The tulle off your tutu Making me sneeze As it grazes my nose But I can’t see when I sneeze Eyes closed shut Head down I could crash a car If I sneeze when driving I could trip on the sidewalk…

Broken pieces

I am more than just my pieces Every little broken piece, Every jagged edge A slice of a finger At the touch of my skin I am more than just my pieces I can’t yearn for you to glue me together I can not look at you as though your job is to Make me…

I may be nothing but a stranger

To the girl I met today, I want you to know, that I feel your torment.   In the way that you evade my eyes in the way that your eyes gloss over   with the pink tinge of a girl that has cried from the full of the moon till it blessed us with…

Dimples, deep as the oceans

I have heard her say day after day how much she loved him I watched her carefully strut her way down the stairs Gentle hands gliding down polished banisters I gazed as I saw her purposely choosing every little morsel of lunch That would go with him that day to work Every ingredient chosen with…

Rediscovery

This was also written on September 27 2016  The end of my last relationship heightened all kinds of insecurities.  “why wasn’t I good enough? why didn’t he want me?” I felt, unattractive, I felt, unwanted.  When I found myself on a dance floor and it brought back the feelings of happiness, and loving myself, and…

Don’t lift me up to drop me 

I wrote this poem September 27, 2016 I had found a happiness  but  with the same breath of this poem, and the fear of losing the love, I eventually let my anxiety tear apart what had become amazing. Don’t you lift me up to drop me… Don’t you dare fill me to the brim just…