My Heart Hurts From All the Things I Can’t Do With You Mother

Dear Mother,  There are so many things that I still wanted to do with you.  We always talked about more dances together.  We have gone out dancing together twice in our lives.  I thought we had so many more late nights left to go.  We joked about loving dancing so much, we would go out,…

Angels Show Up in the Most Random Places

After losing my mom, I was flooded with messages from friends and family sending their love and condolences.  I found myself finding solace in talking about what happened.  In random conversation, I would start to talk about my loss, to anyone close enough to listen.  Coworkers in the break room,  friends on social media, any…

I Love That…

I love that I think of you In the moments that I am the most myself In the moments that I am the most bare In the moments that I am just me You pop into my mind I love that I think of you In the moments that I am so passionate When I…

The Battle of Feeling Beautiful Enough For a Picture

I still battle every picture to feel beautiful. I still feel insecure without make up. I still like a filter or two. But, at least it is still me.

Not a dog

Not a unicorn

Not some mystical mermaid

One day I will beat this battle to feel BEAUTIFUL enough for a picture.

I will be Bare faced and beautiful

I will be flaws and all beautiful

I will amazon warrior this battle to feel beautiful

And I will be proud of it.

She Said Your Name Yesterday

She said your name yesterday I had forgotten about the good days Four years had already passed I didn’t think of us much Memories were filtered by my teeth As I vented back then about the days my heart broke The disgusting taste that was left on my tongue As I flossed the plaque away…

This Wasn’t Her First Time

This wasn’t her first time She knew what she was doing to herself What she didn’t know was what she was doing to the ones around her She looked back at a text message “I can’t do this anymore” Unrecognizable She asks “Did I write this? When?!” He tells her “Right before” He tried to…

It’s OFFICIAL!

I received this message this morning as I woke up and the feeling of constant dread that I have had since taking my NCLEX suddenly faded away. This journey to my RN has been an extremely long one. Not just the prerequisite classes that I was taking in my early twenties, but from the beginning…

My Heart In Pieces

How do I feel whole When my heart is scattered?   Scattered along the paths I’ve walked   Like breadcrumbs to remind me of my journey   I can look behind me And see the pieces of my heart   The pieces that are too far to see I can feel   Like a sonar…

I may be nothing but a stranger

To the girl I met today, I want you to know, that I feel your torment.   In the way that you evade my eyes in the way that your eyes gloss over   with the pink tinge of a girl that has cried from the full of the moon till it blessed us with…

Rediscovery

This was also written on September 27 2016  The end of my last relationship heightened all kinds of insecurities.  “why wasn’t I good enough? why didn’t he want me?” I felt, unattractive, I felt, unwanted.  When I found myself on a dance floor and it brought back the feelings of happiness, and loving myself, and…